Broken Trouble (Broken Storm Book 1) Page 11

  It was still dark outside when I walked to the window. I could see a light outside and squinted through blurry eyes to see there was a lamp hanging from the hood of the truck. I could see a shadow moving around it, showing there was someone there.

  Who was out working on the truck this late? I glanced at the clock. Or this early? It was four in the morning and the only person I knew who got up this early was Wyatt.

  Wyatt, who had managed to snap me out of my panic attack last night.

  I sighed, rubbing my hands over my face before shuffling over to plug in my iPod. As I did, I saw the bags of stuff in the middle of the floor and knelt in the middle of them. Pulling out my pocket knife I had bought yesterday, I started removing tags. I knew there was no way I would be able to go back to sleep, I had barely managed any the night before. Now, as I removed tags, a calm settled over me.

  Maybe yesterday had emotionally exhausted me to the point that I could no longer panic or feel much of anything.

  I sorted through the clothes, setting some aside for the day. Before I knew it, I had all of the clothes stuffed into the drawers, so I grabbed the clothes I had set aside and headed to the shower, trying not to think of how the day could turn out.

  I knew I was in denial, ignoring the fact that I could very well be leaving today and would have to go through the pain I would feel of losing the one place where I had actually started to feel comfortable. It wasn't like me at all. Usually I was completely fine with leaving, but this time I wasn't at all and I didn't like it. It was pushing me off-balance. I was stumbling, emotionally, not sure how to react.

  I showered, taking my time and letting the water wash away the stress I was feeling along with the dried tears on my cheeks.

  I headed back to my room afterwards, applying my usual eyeliner and skipping a lot of the makeup. Sliding on my boots and grabbing some of the Sugar Straws I had bought yesterday, I slipped quietly out my door, down the stairs, and outside.

  Giving the truck a wide birth, I made my way to Storm's corral, letting myself in. I hoped whoever was working on the truck wouldn't notice me out here. I really didn't want to see anyone yet, especially this early in the morning when it was too dark to see their expressions.

  As I turned from latching the gate, I saw Storm watching from the middle of the corral, his ears flicking back and forth.

  "Hey Storm," I whispered, trying to keep my voice down in hopes that no one else would hear me. I pulled out the Sugar Straws and walked forward a couple steps before kneeling in the sand, opening one of the blue ones to give to him.

  Storm perked up at the sight of the Sugar Straws, walking over with his neck stretched out greedily. He paused for a moment, as if giving me a once over before quickly licking up the sugar. Immediately, he was searching for more.

  "You love these things, don't you boy?" I asked, quickly opening several of the Sugar Straws and pouring the contents into my palm to give him. "I'll be sure to tell Wyatt to give you plenty of these when I'm gone,” I sniffled as he gobbled up the sugar from my hand. "I'll try to send you Sugar Straws when I can and he can give them to you. You probably won't even remember me after awhile and will find someone else."

  Tears trickled down my cheeks as I spoke, then I choked back a sob as I cried. It was like last night's breakdown had completely shattered my resolve to hold no emotion for this place. Who was I kidding? I had feelings for everyone here, including Storm, and I had since I arrived. What would happen to Storm after I left? Wyatt told me I was his last chance, so when I was gone, what did they plan to do with him? There was no way I could ever raise enough money to buy him and they probably wouldn't keep him around, feeding him a constant supply of Sugar Straws, for the rest of his life.

  The thought of jumping on him and riding off crossed my mind, but I knew I that wouldn't be able to ride him. I wasn't experienced enough. Plus, I could barely get on a horse with a saddle on, let alone bareback on a horse like Storm.

  And worse, I’d never be able to take care of him like he deserved. I felt something brush my hair, then again more urgently. I raised my head, looking up to see Storm standing smack dab in front of me, nuzzling my hair in an attempt to comfort me.

  I wiped the tears from my cheek and reached up, gently petting his neck. I wasn't even thinking about how distrustful Storm was or how he would react to me petting him until I did it. I paused, watching him closely. His eyes widened and his ears flicked back, but he let my hand stay there for a moment before he moved away.

  Storm let out a puff of air, like a sigh of relief that I hadn't hurt him with my touch, before moving his head back and nuzzling my hair again.

  Storm needed me here. I had to do everything I could do stay here, even if it meant begging.

  Storm snorted and stomped his hoof, his ears suddenly pinning back as he took a defensive position beside me. I looked to where he was glaring and saw someone by the fence.

  I tensed, wondering who it was. Usually only Wyatt came to Storm's corral when I was in here, but I didn't see the outline of his hat, even though his height looked to be correct. Maybe he had taken off his hat while working on the truck.

  We watched each other for a minute. Even though I couldn't see his face, I knew he was watching. Storm kept his protective, guarding stance beside me, his muscles tensed and ready to lunge forward at any moment.

  The person turned, walking away. Both Storm and I relaxed instantly. Storm held his head high, snorting like he was proud of himself, then turned and nudged me for more Sugar Straws. I smiled and opened up more packets and fed them to him. My mind wandering back to the figure in the dark. I wondered who it was and if I would ever find out.

  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

  It wasn't long before the sun started to peek its way over the horizon. Someone rang a bell, signaling that breakfast was ready. As much as I wanted to skip, my stomach was grumbling loudly and I knew I had to eat. I skipped dinner last night and even though I was used to not eating very much, Polly's large meals and regular three meals a day had already started to spoil my stomach. Now all my stomach wanted was to eat as much as it could fit inside it.

  Besides, it was time to face everyone.

  I took a deep breath and strode towards the ranch house. If I just hurried and got this over with, then at least I’d know what would happen. The moment I entered the house though, I immediately regretted my decision. What was I supposed to say to everyone? Was I supposed to act like nothing had happened or just dive right into it?

  Before I could figure it out, someone appeared in front of me. I swallowed hard as my eyes followed up his lanky body from the spurs on his boots to his face. My eyes darting away.

  Chili.

  He didn't say anything, just gave me an assessing look before continuing his way. There was no way to judge how everyone was feeling by his reaction alone, because it wasn't any different than how he usually acted.

  I heard voices in the kitchen and stood at the doorway long enough for Polly to notice, like she had a sixth sense I was there.

  "Ah Honey, come on into the kitchen!" Polly spoke, gesturing me forward, "Come stir the gravy for me, will ya?"

  I walked forward slowly, uncertain. Was she going to grab the pan of gravy and pour it over my head for what I did to Landon? As I stepped across the threshold into the kitchen, all the guys who were crowded inside, turned to stare at me. It felt a lot like the first day I was here. Maybe I had completely set myself back and I was seen as an outsider now.

  I kept my eyes on the kitchen floor until Polly gave me the spoon for the gravy, along with an oven mitt to hold the hot handle with. I kept my eyes on the gravy as I stirred. I could feel the tension of the room surrounding me, all of those stares on my back. I heard Polly sigh from beside me, where she was frying eggs. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her turn toward the guys. I could sense she was having a silent conversation with them, but didn’t turn to decipher their looks. I could tell that the guys had stopped watching me though, only shi
fted around uncomfortably.

  Polly reached over and turned off the burner underneath the gravy, smiling at me. "That looks done, Honey. Gavin, can ya carry this to the table please?"

  I heard movement from behind me as his footsteps approached from the other side of the kitchen. I stepped aside, out of his way, keeping my eyes locked on the floor. He paused in front of me and I tensed, waiting for his harsh words to pierce through me. Instead, he held out his hand.

  I glanced up at his face, trying to figure out what he was doing, only to find him staring back. His icy blue eyes were intense, but the usual hatred wasn't glaring from his eyes. It shocked and confused me, why wasn't he using this perfect opportunity to remind everyone how horrible I was? Or maybe he knew something I didn't, like maybe he knew I would be leaving and didn't need to convince everyone I was worthless.

  Gavin sighed, a frown darkening his features as he gestured to my hand. I glanced down and saw the oven mitt still on my hand.

  Ah right, he just wanted the oven mitt.

  I pulled it off my hand and held it out. He quickly took it and slipped it on, picking up the pan of gravy as if it wasn't heavy at all and carrying it to the table. He didn't knock into me or curse at me. What was going on with him? I tried not to worry about it, but I'd never had Gavin act indifferently towards me. I had no idea how to react to him.

  Polly handed off plates to all the boys, shooing them out of the kitchen before turning to me. "Are ya feeling better, Honey?"

  It wasn't what I expected to hear at all. I thought she’d scold me and be mad. It would've made more sense than her being sincere and concerned.

  "Yeah," I answered, unsure of what to really say.

  Polly smiled warmly and wrapped me in a tight hug, patting my back gently before stepping back, "Good, I'm glad.”

  It was so like Polly to act this way, but wasn't she even the slightest bit upset? I crossed my arms over my chest, pressing my sweaty palms against my shirt as nerves ate at my stomach. Finally, I asked the question that had been haunting me since the incident, "Are you going to call Ms. Hinndle and send me back?" I tried to leave my face expressionless, building up a wall to keep her from seeing just how vulnerable I was.

  "Why would we do that?" Polly asked as she took the last of the eggs out of the pan and placed them on a plate. She turned to me and sighed, shaking her head, "Honey, every one of us has our own problems we have to work through and move past. We're not going to send ya away just because of one little thing."

  I nodded, trying to keep my emotions in check, even as relief flooded through me, "You don't even want to know what happened?"

  "Everyone here understands, and we're not going to push ya to tell us anything that you're not ready to discuss. You'll tell us in your own time. Won’t ya, Honey?"

  "Yeah," I assured, though I really couldn't comprehend telling them what had happened. It wasn't just one time, or one person, that had caused my misery. Ever since my parents had died, it had been the solid string of failed adoptions that left me emotionally mutilated and physically abused. It had been on that night, when I was at my lowest and weakest, unable to run or fight, I had finally broken. After that, I let no one anywhere near me, keeping myself emotionally detached from everything and everyone.

  If I did tell them, then they would find out just how broken I was. Would they really be as understanding or would they just pity me?

  "Okay," Polly spoke, smiling at me and managing to snap me from my thoughts, “let’s go eat some breakfast now. You get the coffee and I'll carry the eggs."

  I grabbed the pot of coffee and followed Polly to the dining room, hesitating for a second before forcing myself into the dining room. The guys stopped talking amongst themselves, turning to watch me. I set the pot of coffee on the table and sat down in the empty seat beside Jayden and Polly. I realized a second too late that I had sat directly across from Landon. I could see the red scratches down his face that I had given him last night and I looked down at the table in shame.

  Chili said a quick prayer and everyone started getting their food. I held back, noting that Landon hadn't met my eyes at all, barely even glancing in my direction. After what I had done, there was no getting around an apology.

  "I'm sorry," I apologized, looking at Landon.

  He paused, finally glancing up at me, nodding in acknowledgment. When he didn't say anything, I knew I'd need to give him an explanation.

  "I freaked out from something that happened a long time ago. I didn't mean to hurt you."

  Landon observed me like he was trying to see into my soul, then he just smiled and shrugged. "It's okay, don't worry about it. I've had worse injuries than just a few scratches."

  "It's not okay though." Why weren't any of them mad at me? Even Gavin was being unreasonably nice to me.

  "It is," Landon assured, then glanced at Gavin. "It's like a rite of passage to do something like that. You should have seen me after Gavin finished with his."

  Gavin just narrowed his eyes at Landon, as if he hated the fact that he brought it up. Then he grunted in agreement.

  "Plus," Landon turned back to me, seeming to relax a bit with a grin, "it makes me look bad ass."

  Polly frowned at Landon for his language, but stayed quiet. Maybe she was letting it slide just like Landon was letting what I had done slide. Everyone smirked and chuckled at his comment and started eating, causing me to relax. They may be willing to easily forgive what had happened, but that didn't mean I would. Something like that would never happen again.

  "I heard the band for the dance this Wednesday was looking for someone to play the guitar," Jayden said with a smirk.

  I put a piece of bacon in my mouth, chewing slowly and paying close attention. Had it been Jayden outside my door last night?

  Gavin glanced up, the same broody look in his eyes. Wyatt, Polly, Chili and Landon all looked up in interest, but it was Dylan to caught my attention. He had stiffened in his seat, his eyes glued to his plate.

  "I heard you playing again last night, you should do it," Landon spoke, glancing at Dylan.

  Was it really Dylan? It wouldn't be surprising, he had already done some extremely sweet things in the past, but he was so shy. Would he really sing and play a guitar outside of my door?

  "That would be wonderful, I could call if you wanted," Polly offered.

  Why wouldn't they just say his name so I knew who it had been?

  "No," Dylan finally said, settling who it was. If he could play and sing like that, then he needed to be making albums and going on tour, not hiding it away like some big secret.

  "Sounds like you're scared," Gavin stated with a smidgen of a grin. Was he actually picking on someone other than me?

  "I don't want to," Dylan admitted, glancing up at me, "I'd rather dance."

  And just like that, all of the attention switched back to me.

  "I don't know if I'm going or not," I said, which was a lie. I knew I would end up going, Starre would probably force me to go even if I changed my mind.

  "You have to go," Jayden insisted, his eyes locking on me, "It's not like I'm going to be dancing with any of these losers."

  "I wouldn't want to dance with you anyway," Gavin said and at first I thought he was talking to me, but his eyes were on Jayden.

  "You have to come," Landon said to me. It was nice to know he was still willing to be near me. "Dibs!" he called out, raising his hand into the air in victory.

  "You can't call dibs on her," Jayden growled, "I already said she's dancing with me."

  "You didn't call dibs, so she's mine," Landon argued.

  "She's going on a date with Dylan, so he has dibs," Gavin spoke, apparently spilling the beans on the entire thing, because all the guys looked shocked.

  "What the hell!" Jayden shouted. "When did this happen?"

  "Language," Polly spoke, only to be drowned out by all the guys talking at once.

  "I want a date with her too," Landon stated, "Dibs!"

  "Like hel
l!" Jayden yelled, almost standing up from his chair.

  "Enough!" Chili ordered, his voice at a normal level, but filled with strictness that caught their attention. "You could ask her who she wants to go dancing and on dates with. Stop fighting and use your manners and ask her proper like."

  The guys settled down, looking a bit sheepish for fighting.

  "Hey," Starre's voice came from the doorway, causing everyone to turn.

  "You're here, Honey," Polly noted, motioning to an empty chair, "Sit down and have some breakfast."

  "I already ate, otherwise you wouldn't be able to stop me from eating your food Polly," Starre praised with a smile. "I'm actually here to see Nova."

  Had she heard back from the people with the puppies? I got up, already finished eating and went to pick up my dishes.

  "I'll take care of those Honey, you go ahead with Starre," Polly said, waving me away with a wink at Starre. That wasn't suspicious at all.

  "Okay, thanks," I walked out of the room with Starre, questioning her with my eyes.

  "I'm here to help you get ready for your date!" Starre admitted, squealing with excitement and hopping up and down on her toes. "Are you as excited as I am?"

  "Sure," I said, even though I was more nervous. Dylan hadn't denied that they were going on a date at the table this morning, but that didn't mean he still wanted to go out on a date with me today.

  "Come on, I want to do your hair and makeup. Have you picked out your clothes yet?" Starre asked as she led the way up the stairs and to my room.

  "Not yet," I spoke, hesitating a bit before admitting. "Honestly, I wasn't sure if the date was still on."

  Starre spun around, closing the door behind us. "I know, Polly called me this morning and told me you had a panic attack. I was kind of mad that she didn't call me last night or that you didn't call me, though it makes sense that you didn't when you didn't have my number. So I'll write it down before I leave." Starre hopped onto my bed, sitting Indian style. "Tell me everything! What happened?"